I know you’re looking to make good on your goals and create sustainable behaviour changes that actually stick, and because of that we need to work on your mindset too.

One of the main reasons why people fail to create healthy habits that stick is their all or nothing mentality.

When you think in all or nothing terms, you tend to see things as black or white, extremes with very little middle ground, if any.

All or nothing thinking demands perfection, breeds self-blame and ultimately drives you to give up on your goals if you can't stick with them 100% of the time.

The reality is though, nothing is ever a matter of black and white - there's a lot of grey, purple and pink and a multitude of other colours, shades and hues.

Shifting your mindset and shedding the all or nothing mentality is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It's not always easy, but it is possible. As a recovering perfectionist, I understand that better than anyone else. But if I can do it, so can you.

Here are my top tips for overcoming the all or nothing thinking and learning to see the middle ground:

Aim for most of the time instead of all the time

Change isn’t always easy. In fact, it’s most often difficult. We’re creatures of habit and are built to resist change even if we know it’s best for us. When we aim to do something new all the time, it puts a lot of pressure on us to change our habits overnight which sets us up for failure. Aiming to do something most of the time allows us to commit and gives us the flexibility we need to adjust to our new habit naturally.

Focus on progress, not perfection:

Don't focus on the "slip ups" and "setbacks" and avoid classifying things in extreme terms like good/bad, success/failure. Progress doesn't mean doing something flawlessly. It's about showing up, it’s about the journey and the things you learn along the way. It's more sustainable and motivates you to keep moving toward your goals.

Celebrate even the smallest of wins.

When you celebrate your progress, you stay present, focused on the here and now, on how far you've come instead of how much farther you have to go and you're excited to take the next step. Grab your journal and write down all of the ways you showed up for yourself that day. If the day didn't go as you had planned, reflect on what you can learn from it and how it can help you grow. Awareness is a reason to celebrate in and of itself.

Practice Self-Compassion

In simple terms, be nice to yourself. That’s an order. Resolve to treat yourself with compassion and speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend; with love, kindness, reassurance and encouragement. Here are just a few examples of positive self-talk that you can use to silence the nasty voices: